Dear Malachi,

I'm sorry. Your "Aunt" Lisa just said a few days ago that someone should take away her Mommy license. I feel the same way. This morning was a rough one on me, and I will have to say that my superb parenting skills did not come shining through. I'm sorry. You see, your little brother has been boycotting sleeping well at night. He's not hungry. He's just waking up and crying, and me (being the tired mom that I am) rush to his side instead of letting him "cry it out" a little. I have tried other methods besides letting him cry, and none of them are working too well. Last night I let Z cry, and it didn't work very well on the first leg of the sleep, but he slept like a champ on the second half. I got about 6 extremely interrupted hours of sleep last night, and that's been the story for the past 2 weeks, if not worse. I'm running on fumes.

While I'm glad this didn't happen while I was working, I am still exhausted and miss my summer where I should be sleeping (like the last 2 summers). Please forgive me for yelling at you and loosing my cool. I pride myself on having good patience with you, but I reached my breaking point this morning while I was home with you and Z all by myself. It doesn't help that we are closing on our new house tomorrow, and All 4 adults in the R house are needing some space.

I spanked you once or twice because you were very, very, very whiny, but I didn't hurt you. When I got upset and raised my voice a little too much, you just looked at me like, "Where's my Momma?" and "What have you done with the lady who loves me soooooo much?" I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo very sorry. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I will try my best, and hopefully we will move into our new house soon and Z will sleep better. I love you little boy. You are a gift from God, and I'm sorry when I don't always treat you that way. I love you forever and always.
Momma