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Monday, March 30, 2009

Biopsy

Today was the biopsy day for the lump in my breast. Everything went well this morning. They took 3 samples. I am a little sore and am keeping the "ice pack" on the area. I haven't taken any Tylenol yet, so all is well. The doctor seemed pretty sure that it was benign after looking at it and taking the samples, but I will know for sure in the next day or 2. I cam home after the biopsy and took a nap. Daniel took me out to lunch. I came back home and took another nap. I've just been resting and watching tv. It's nice to have a "day off" even if I got poked with way too many needles this morning. All is well. If you don't hear anything else, then assume that no news is good news. I'm glad that there have been no complications, thus far. Praise the Lord!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Accidents happen, right?

Malachi had an accident today. I don't know why. He hasn't had a pee-pee accident in MONTHS. I didn't have extra clothes for him, so he got to run around the church in a t-shirt and pull up. Yes, his shoes & socks were wet, too. After working at the church for a little while, Z & I ran to a local consignment shop and picked him up a nice-looking & nice-smelling pair of pants for less than $3.

Why in the world would he have an accident? Maybe he was upset because his momma was rushing out the door this morning, and he wanted to spend time with her.

Why would that cause him to get upset? Maybe because his momma left him sleeping in bed on Wednesday morning and did not return until 10pm on Friday night.

Why would he be cranky for momma being gone? Maybe Momma told him she would wake him up at 10pm, Friday night to tell him she was home and give him a kiss, and then Malachi chose not to go back to sleep until almost midnight. I can't help it the kid missed me.

Hmmm... I think there is a correlation.

By the way, those of you who have been wanting to talk to me, I'm sorry. Last week was crazy and a learning process. This week was busy with cleaning, packing, taking 175 8th graders to the OBX of NC, and then practice for the Easter Trilogy starting tomorrow! Monday will be my biopsy day. Wow, just thinking about all that makes me tired! I did survive most of it already, though:)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Scary but a "God-thing"

On Monday, I went to the OB/GYN for my yearly "womanly" appointment. While there, the doc discovered a lump in my breast. I was scheduled for an ultrasound on Friday (yes, I had to wait that long). The doc reassured me it was nothing but wanted to take the precaution. I believed her and went on my way. As I walked away and headed to my car, the weight of the situation began to hit me. I broke. Tears and doubts began to flood my brain like never before. It was scary to think of the future and a lump.

Daniel and I have been under immense pressure the past few weeks due to the opening of a satellite campus of First Assembly that we felt called to be a part of. Then, I got hit by the news. It was all I could do to keep it together (barely). Daniel and I ended up having an impromptu date night on Tuesday to help "clear our heads." It was nice and just what we needed.

Wednesday rolled around, and I was still struggling with the issue. I was supposed to "skip" church to go to another meeting and costume fitting. I chose not to go because I just felt that I needed to be in the Bible study. We have been focusing on the minor profits. Before the study, I thought that I was crazy and would get nothing from it, BUT most of the study was for me and my situation. It was freeing.

I woke up Thursday morning with peace in my heart and mind and great anticipation for Friday afternoon to see if all my fret was in vain.

Today (Friday) was my appointment at the Imagery center (in the same complex as Z's ENT and where his tubes were put in). Daniel, of course, went with me. As I watched on the monitor during the ultrasound, I could tell that it was more than just a normal "lump" by the way the tech was spending time on that spot and measuring and such. Then, the pics were taken to the doc. He came in for a look himself.

He told me that he was hoping it was a cyst (no problems, let it be). It wasn't that. It appeared to be a tumor. The good news was that it also seemed to be benign. He gave me 2 options, a needle biopsy with local anesthesia OR to go ahead and schedule a full removal of the .5cm area and surrounding, just to make sure. There is a small chance it is malignant, but the signs don't point there. Most likely, the needle test (which is what I chose) will show that it is benign, and we'll just keep a close eye on it for the many years to come. It is not expected to grow anymore.

So, on Monday, May 30th, I will go in again to the center to be locally numbed and have a needle stuck in me. Fun! I'm thankful that all seems to be going well.

Through all this I have been "finding myself" again and who I am in Christ. The past few years, I have had control of my life. God has constantly been calling me to trust him and let go of the reigns. I haven't. Now that I have been faced with an issue that I have no control over, whatsoever, I have begun to let go of the control issue in my life. I have such a peace. If it is malignant, then God knows, and I trust that He will provide total healing. If it is not, then I trust that all will be well in the future. I am using this time as a life lesson and relationship lesson. My stress levels have been much higher since August. I have taken life too seriously and tried to control my own life. The problem is, it is not mine to control. There has been such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm fine with whatever the outcome is.

As my teammate keeps reminding me, if it's not breast cancer, don't stress. The situation will be over soon. She's a breast cancer survivor. I've learned so much from her. She's one year from retirement, and has "done it all," for the most part. She's my sounding board and sound mind at work. I thank God for her. Now I truly can remind myself that life is short, and that God is in control. He deserves the glory for whatever happens in the next few weeks and months. He's worthy, & I am truly blessed.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Nothing New Right Now

I have nothing "new" to report right now. We have been busy, and I am exhausted. I can't seem to find time to catch a break or get a breath before all the laundry piles up again or another school event happens. We have been trying harder to eat more at home and be healthier, but we can't with the crazy schedule.

Ezekiel is talking more than ever (as he does each week). Saturday, he came up to me while I was doing something (don't remember), and said, "Mommy, you doin'?" It was so cute!

I got upset this morning b/c Malachi wouldn't put his own clothes on for the 459th time today. I just started to cry. I was frustrated. Ezekiel had made me wrestle his clothes on, and I was tired at 7:15am. Z was in "timeout" in his crib when he noticed me crying. I realized later that he had stopped crying (and trying to pull his clothes off). He waited for me to finish fussing at Malachi and waited for me to pick him up. Then, he gave me the biggest (most wonderful) hug! I carried him into the bathroom where he kept an eye on me in the mirror. How sweet is that boy!

I just wish Malachi wasn't going through the TRYING THREES. Every morning and evening it is a battle to get clothes on and a battle to go poop (before he doesn't have time to go). It is routine. Why is it so difficult? I love that little boy so dearly. I just wish we were through these times sooner.

Grand Opening for Concord First Assembly 29North will be Sunday. There is a lot to do. I'm sure I won't get a nap that day. Maybe I'll plan on being "sick" on Monday. Just thinking about it makes me tired.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Recent Pictures & Snow Days

I can't remember a time that we haven't been busy. Last month was an extremely trying time for us financially & emotionally, but the past few weeks have been very rewarding and enjoyable. The boys were able to use their birthday/Christmas money to go to Build-a-Bear on Friday. Ezekiel picked out a Bobcats uniform with a basketball. Malachi chose a fireman's uniform.

The boys enjoy taking baths together and playing with the toys. Malachi loves to "swim" in the tub, and, SURPRISE, "monkey see, monkey do."

Hey, there, cutie! Our big 3-year-old.
If you look closely at his left eye, you can see the scab he got when he dove into the corner of a table.

Who's cute? Our little 2-year-old.

This was our "snowman" from about 2 weeks ago. The snow would not pack, and I can't take credit for this little snowman, anyway. A neighbor from down the street came out to play with Malachi, and this is all they could do with about 30 minutes. I told you, the snow didn't want to pack. It was too powdery.
Today, we got our 3rd snow this year. It was preceded by 2 days of rain & about 2 hours of freezing rain. It made it pack well but very slushy. Of course, we had no school today. This was my quick attempt at a snowman. It has already melted & while we were making it, Kiev kept knocking it over and eating the eyes, nose, mouth, etc. No fun!

This video is the day after his party. I was trying to get Ezekiel to talk about his party the way he had earlier, but, of course, he didn't cooperate. Malachi enjoyed being in the spotlight. The Foof chair is always a favorite place to play.